Navigating Life's Challenges with Neutral Thinking: My Journey with Cancer

I was introduced to the concept of neutral thinking in 2016. As a workplace performance coach, I often discussed with clients the importance of choice awareness and how not attaching ourselves to outcomes and staying present, looking at true facts of situations and avoiding our internal false narratives is where all the power within us lies.

Through conversations, I had one client reach out and ask if I had ever read the book “It Takes What It Takes” by Trevor Moawad. Immediately, upon hanging up from our conversation, I ordered his book and my life was forever changed.

Fast forward a few years, and this concept of neutral thinking has been the most impactful mindset tool of awareness that continues to serve and support me every single day. The idea behind neutral thinking is the power of looking at present facts without judgment or grading. Not only did this mindset help support me after being involved in a mass shooting, but it is what I anchored in when being diagnosed with cancer on May 22, 2024.

The moment I was told of my cancer diagnosis, my knee-jerk reaction was “What is required of me in this moment?” “What is it that I need to do?” “What are some actions I can take right now?” Had I not been given the tools for remaining neutral, I know my tendencies would absolutely go negative. As you can imagine, and for many of you readers, you are well aware of your own journey with cancer, there are many negative thoughts that will try to creep into our minds. The “What if’s”… the “Why me’s?”… the “Why is this happening?”...

Now, I am going to be honest and transparent… it would be false for me to say that I did not have fear and moments of negativity. I am human and negative thoughts 100% entered my mind. Many, many moments of fear, anger, sadness, resentment, and downright being pissed off for the situation I was handed. BUT, having this toolkit and knowledge of neutral allowed me to feel every emotion so that when I was ready to transition from one emotion to another, I was able to do so.

Our thoughts are a choice. We get to choose them… even during a challenging situation. And when my thoughts went negative, having the ability to catch them (the thoughts), control them, and change them gave me back control. We are ALWAYS in control of our thoughts. During our most challenging moments, we are allowed the ability to show our strength and resilience to NOT allow our thoughts to take over and hold us back. Instead, during this time, we get to show what we can do and how with our mental strength we can choose our thoughts regardless of our situation.

Since my diagnosis, I have been flooded with so many different emotions but the one that remains the most consistent and constant is that of gratitude. By staying neutral, allowing many moments of pause to truly check in on how I am doing, I get to allow myself to get real clear on the truth in the moment and avoid all of the internal narratives that are completely false and untrue.

My staying neutral in this moment looks and sounds like this:

I have stage 2 colorectal cancer. I have a world-class medical team supporting me at Mayo Clinic. I have a family and husband who are supporting and encouraging me. I have friends I can lean on during ups and downs. I have a peaceful home where I can focus on my health and healing. I have the ability to do hard things. I can choose my thoughts and allow myself to feel all of the emotions without judgment during my cancer journey. I am resilient. I am loved. I am so grateful for my life.

By staying neutral… identifying FACTS, it is easy to find gratitude. I am able to identify all of the things in the moment that I am extremely grateful for. Please do not misunderstand. It takes work. Staying neutral through cancer is one of the greatest challenges I have experienced. The anticipation of appointments to get more clarity, the unknowns during testing and waiting for results after medical procedures.

Even comments, advice, and feedback from others that have been through their own cancer diagnosis or journey with a loved one. All of this requires staying neutral. But we get to do it. And when we do, it is such a gift. And most importantly, we get to do this life together. We get to navigate neutral together and encourage each other to choose thoughts and actions that support us. Through ups, downs, and everything in between. Because we are stronger together and are never meant to figure this thing called life out alone.

For more information on neutral thinking, I encourage you to read the following books:

“It Takes What It Takes” by Trevor Moawad

“Getting to Neutral” by Trevor Moawad

If you were looking for a book to support you in navigating a change, check out my book being published in August 2024: “Keep F*!#ing Going.” Ironically, I wrote this book prior to my cancer diagnosis, unaware of how the KFG steps would support me every day in navigating this change. Life really is a beautiful mystery!

See Krista in action and talking about her power of choice on KTTC News here!

I’m Krista Ryan

My job is to help you learn a little, laugh a lot, and get clear on action steps for your success.

It may have taken a life changing event to shake me awake and decide I no longer wanted to live a comfortable life… I wanted to embrace the discomfort and live a life of courage and intention.

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